She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
