Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
