:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
