Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
