Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i will never coherently bang her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
