why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
