I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
