i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
