I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
