I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
