and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
