whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
