Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
