Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
