I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
