walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
