Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
