For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
