The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
