You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
