They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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