Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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