omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
