pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
