That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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