That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my shit smells like andre
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
