I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i drank out of a bidet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
