That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
