Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
