You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
