It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
