we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
worst night to have a conscience
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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