College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
