I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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