im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
