PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
