I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
