Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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