Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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