Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
