DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
