three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
