Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
