New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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