Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
