forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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