where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
