You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
