i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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