I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
